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Seen, Not Heard: Learning Silence as Survival
How I mastered being impressive and invisible. I grew up as a performer.That sounds harmless.But for me, that sentence has layers. It started in primary school, when my older sister began dancing before I did.I remember my parents driving her to practice. Watching her on stage, in awe. Seeing her as part of a crew,…
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California Sun: Cultural Whiplash After Moving Countries
The strange ache of starting over in a place that looks perfect. When I think of California, I think of people who don’t apologize for existing.Confidence. Volume. Space.Freedom like it’s their middle name.After all, isn’t that what America sells?Volume. Expansion. No shrinking. Growing up, we had satellite TV, a whopping twenty channels to choose from.And…
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Offstage: Identity Loss After Social Media Performance
The quiet right before I meet myself. The shift began quietly.A slow withdrawal I barely noticed. For years, my life lived on a screen,curated for an audience I couldn’t see,but never stopped performing for. Every moment became a potential post.Every joy, something to polish.Every version of me… a performance I knew by heart. I was…
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Drift: Expat Grief and the Search for Belonging
Somewhere between where I came from and where I’m going. I left home nearly a decade ago, carrying something I didn’t have language for yet. First stop: the capital.I told my mom it was just for my undergrad.She wasn’t thrilled, but I promised I’d be back after graduating.(Spoiler: I did not.) The capital was exactly…
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Auto-Pilot: Dissociation and Emotional Numbness
When I stopped living and didn’t even notice. I didn’t realise how long I’d been drifting.Routine is sneaky like that.It camouflages the drift.Quietly. Politely. Almost responsibly. You disappear in plain sight.Somewhere between the motions, I stopped being. I didn’t have language for it yet, just the feeling of drifting, catching my breath. I’m showering.Twice a…
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Still Breathing: Near-Death Experience Recovery
Learning to live after almost drowning, when survival doesn’t feel like relief. I keep thinking about how lucky I must be.A small-town girl from a fishing village in Borneo, the first in my family to get a master’s degree, who lived a whole decade in London and now wakes up under California sun. Sometimes it…
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Borrowed Time: Life After a Near-Death Experience
What happens after you survive and everything feels slightly off. I drove to my friend’s house for lunch, unaware I’d already crossed into life after. We’d agreed to meet. It was on the list.My last few days in Asia were just that, a list.A blur of scheduled goodbyes and check-ins, people I needed to prove…
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Catalyst: My Near-Death Experience Story
How saltwater, stillness, and a boy who saved me split my life in two. It was my sister’s birthday, but the real celebration came later.Somewhere between the saltwater and the stillness, where a boy I didn’t know pulled me back to life, turning it into the near-death experience I’d never forget. The morning was slow…
exploring mimi
becoming, still